潔咪的韓國進行式

連續看了「戀愛沒有假期」、「生日快樂」、「K歌情人」幾部愛情電影
故事都很老套，我卻很難看完笑笑就忘掉
心裡一直浮現酸酸的、悶悶的感覺
情緒的開關忽然間轉開….

很久了，對於情感，將近一年我不再多想，
對於很多會觸動到內心的感覺
我都刻意淡化，變得麻木不仁
以前不論是看到感人的故事、影片或只是一個鏡頭
我都會多愁善感、大剌剌地留下眼淚
現在，哭泣只留在獨自一個人或是很多人佔據的黑暗裡，
有時候自我解嘲，這是不是改名字後的後遺症？
就向塔羅大師說的：「改了名之後會比較理性實際。」
但是，我不確定我喜歡這樣的自己嗎？
會不會像「戀愛沒有假期」的Amanda一樣，
到最後，哭泣都是一種奢。

這幾部片雖然劇情不太相同，但是講的其實都是一樣的事情
「面對過去。」
過去的情感挫敗、脆弱和不安全感，
在男女主角拒絕承載之下變成幸福的盲點，
愛情變得很浮面，「過去」讓人生裹足不前，

我想，這是很多人的通病，也是難以抗拒的事實，
但是最讓我膽顫心驚的是，
做決定時，總是不知不覺被捲入過去的漩渦中，
不知情選擇被攪拌後的答案，充滿某種偏執和頑固，
所以
愛情理想主義者受過傷後不斷藉由劈腿顯示自己的掌控權
渺小主義者堅持等待不回頭的情人顯示自己還剩下忠貞不二的優點
So....情況愈來愈複雜、愈來愈無奈。

其實我還是希望能夠繼續保持原來的感性，
只是能夠勇敢面對過去，
因為下意識的自艾自憐，
反而會做出更對自己更殘忍的決定


最後送給大家
「K歌情人」男女主角，在內心碰撞之後譜出的一首歌曲
希望 大家都能 “Find a Way Back to Love”


Way back into love

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throughout the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end